THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

So, did you here the one about the zombie that wanders into a Tea Party rally. Somebody stops him and says “Wait a minute, don’t zombies eat other peoples brains?” “I would” says the zombie “if I could find any.” Okay so maybe the joke is lame but it gets me into my next topic. That would be the latest version of the Ringling Bros. Barnum&Baily Circus better known as the the Rebublican debates.

Like many Americans I’ve been watching these debates on and off. As far as I can tell they all stand for exactly the same thing-tax cuts for the rich, cut Government benefits to the poor, anti-abortion, anti-gay rights and guns, guns, guns. Each one is trying to prove  their holier-than-thou purism and go further right-wing than the others.As I said their positions are identical but each one tries to prove they’re better residents of right-wing looney-tunesville that the other guys.

Watching these debates I felt if I were up there on stage with them, I could out-extreme everyone of these candidates. If they were merely extremists I could be an extremely-extreme-extremist. If they’re talking abortion and said life begins at conception, I would say that life begins with the Big Bang Theory. Extremely-extreme-extremist. The others would just be pikers. Once I get going nobody can out-extreme me.

It appears now that Newt Gingrich is leading in the polls for the Republican nomination. It seems to me that Newt has gotten, shall we say, more portly with older age. I always felt that Newt would do himself a lot better, if,instead of running for President he just started running. In the end though I think a majority of Republicans will come to their senses and nominate Romney. Not that Romney doesn’t have all the honor and integrity of a crabcake, doing a complete 180 on what he stood for when he was in Mass. But at least Romney is tall, distinguished looking, and looks like a President, versus short and overweight Gingrich.

My theory as to why Obama won in 2008 was that here was this tall,athletically good looking guy running against McCain who was short and dumpy looking.Of course younger better looking people who were generally under 50 would vote in large majorities for the guy that looked like them. Interestingly, among the short, fat, dumpy looking crowd, which was mainly seniors, McCain won the majority vote.That’s why I feel that even Republicans residing in looney-tunesville will have to select Romney.

Next time I’ll talk about Michelle Bachman and the delusional state she lives in. And Herman Caine said before he dropped out that God told him to run. I believe he got an e-mail from God or maybe it was a tweet on Twitter.Yes I believe it was on Twitter. In the meantime lets be of good cheer and break out into a song for the holidays. Where is Herman Caine when you need him.

 

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